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Debs ramblings about her NHS sleeve...
- Thread starter Debs!
- Start date
kurstywursty
Active Member
Telling it just how it is Debs x
Debs!
Active Member
Early Christmas pressie to myself I guess!
As a fairly steady - ok slow - loser I have hit a major milestone today
I try and only weigh weekly now as it was all getting daft!
Anyhow I started my liver diet on May 1st. I've now just hit the 5 stone loss mark from that date. So that's almost 8 months!
My BMI was class III obese back then. As you can see it has tumbled down now - to 30.4. But being merely overweight still alludes me! Drat! Perhaps I will be oversight for the new year. Who knows.
It's been a interesting journey of learning and more learning. Of adaptions and of compromised. And of some difficult times I guess. Food was my best friend and silent killer but I do miss the joy it bought sometimes. Not enough to lose the plot but a stark learning point that I could not control food without surgery. It's a shame as I see thinner friends who have been able to maintain a healthy weigh and have a night out and relax. The sleeve doesn't really relax. My restriction is reliable thankfully and thus I find new ways of finding contentment.
So if you are also a moderate speed loser at least we can celebrate we get there in our own time. It is not a race. We are just saving ourselves as best we can !
As a fairly steady - ok slow - loser I have hit a major milestone today
I try and only weigh weekly now as it was all getting daft!
Anyhow I started my liver diet on May 1st. I've now just hit the 5 stone loss mark from that date. So that's almost 8 months!
My BMI was class III obese back then. As you can see it has tumbled down now - to 30.4. But being merely overweight still alludes me! Drat! Perhaps I will be oversight for the new year. Who knows.
It's been a interesting journey of learning and more learning. Of adaptions and of compromised. And of some difficult times I guess. Food was my best friend and silent killer but I do miss the joy it bought sometimes. Not enough to lose the plot but a stark learning point that I could not control food without surgery. It's a shame as I see thinner friends who have been able to maintain a healthy weigh and have a night out and relax. The sleeve doesn't really relax. My restriction is reliable thankfully and thus I find new ways of finding contentment.
So if you are also a moderate speed loser at least we can celebrate we get there in our own time. It is not a race. We are just saving ourselves as best we can !
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kurstywursty
Active Member
I don't think that is a moderate weight loss. I think it's fantastic xxx
Debs!
Active Member
Marz
Sadly the skin isn't great. My arms are acceptable. Yes there are some flappy bits underneath and towards my arm pit
My breast are empty skin shells and droop a fair bit. In my bra they still look ok. Unlocked is not so good! ????
The worse is my stomach. It is a saggy empty bag event and it rolls over the top of my knickers. I can pull it. If I kneel on all fours it's like I have an Austrian blind belly!
My legs are generally ok except at the knocker line on the inside thigh which is very wrinkled and droops down - again like festoon nets!
That was from being just under 19 stone for 20 years or so. I am 48 and had been obese since 18. I've also had a pregnant and surgery on my lower abdomen due to an umbilical hernia. That ended up with an incision which ran from my public line to my belly button.
My stomach flap currently has an infection due to the overhang which is being treated with antibacterial cream. My belly can be seen in jeans/trousers and it's like a bulbous pad.
X
kurstywursty
Active Member
I'm just the same debs. Just no hiding the huge apron ;-(
Debs!
Active Member
I am not distraught about it. It was always going to be like this and first and foremost my health is a zillion times better. My belly button at 18 stone also would get infected and I got chaffed thighs and nasty rashes under my boobs - so it is what it is. Life is to short to be miserable about a side effect of my own gluttony. It is what is. I may get lucky I guess in the body contouring lottery - but if I don't then it could be worse. I have to learn to accept myself. I never have and I need to start!
X
marz
Member
Wowcher - I guess I need to come off my cloud and accept loose skin as a side effect... And start saving up for dealing with it. I hope I haven't upset you by asking. I see you guys as months ahead of me and it gives me some direction to see how you are doing.
Debs!
Active Member
Don't be daft - of course you're not upsetting me. Those who are younger are better with skin. I was obese for 3 decades and I am entering menopause so I was never going to be the 'snap back' queen!
I would not ever say it's inevitable but I do think realising hair loss and excess skin are probably for many wls surgery successes as losing 6-7 stone isn't going to be without some side effects.
Good underwear - Spanx - do flatten it but I find them difficult to breath in an not comfortable! Lol
I'd still rather sag than be so fat I was poorly.
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kurstywursty
Active Member
Happy new year Debs
Debs!
Active Member
Happy 2016 to us all!
Exciting year for us all with our journeys I guess.
I found Christmas super hard. I know often people say - 'nothing tastes as good as being slim' but I wouldn't be able to fully agree!!
Yes, being slimmer than 2014 Christmas is a joy. And I am thankful and grateful to the NHS for that last chance to be healthier. I truly am.
I also had 2 years of monthly psychology appointments in tier 3 to try and help with my compulsive eating and binge eating to prepare me for a better post op journey. I researched and prepared and forced myself to become immersed in the full risks and side effects and consequences for there to be few surprises post op.
I did all I could.
However - the impact of a bleak food Christmas was super hard to realise before the event. I've had food centred Christmases since I was a child - not because I was a overweight child - but I think many many people's Christmas includes indulgence and a little excess.
47 prior Christmases followed that path. This year did not! For Xmas lunch I had a sprout, 3 slices of carrot, a roast parsnip, a slice of turkey and some gravy. I ate it very slowly but was very sick 30 minutes later. I had panecotta once I recovered, knowing I would be sick but with a 'sod it' attitude!!!!
I often wish I had learned to control my eating earlier. That I had realised in my 20s and 30s the debilitating long term effect of being morbidly obese for decades. The knee and hip deterioration. The spinal pain and the self esteem cost - which was huge. But my younger self headed no warnings and I crashed into milestone birthdays bigger than the decade before.
So I guess wls became a life line but at a high cost sometimes. There was no escaping my restriction. I could not have a Buck's Fizz with a bacon bap for breakfast. I could have a drink and then 30 minutes later I had some porridge. I couldn't eat a starter and dessert with my family. My desert was eaten around an hour after I have been sick from my lunch!
I did have a good day - but I was mourning that there was no 'mid way house' place where things could be a little more accommodating. I have read that after a couple of years it may be easier. So who knows? It's not a deal breaker and make no mistake I don't regret my surgery at all. But there are impacts and Christmas Day really made me aware of how severe the surgery was due to my inability to deal with my weight myself. I was super cross that I never managed to get a grip. I am also super scared that perhaps I have not actually got a grip now. My sleeve has. And should that relax or alter - I will go backwards.
The fear of going backwards is a scary demon. Plenty of people enjoy a great first year from losing wls - the surgery more or less ensures some losses. Many people write that they are 'fixed' and their weight has been 'lost forever'. Yet we know regain with wls is very, very common. Perhaps only a stone but for some - its everything they lost. Not because they can suddenly eat huge meals again. But because it's very possible to eat a bad snack every hour and soon be on 3000-4000 calories a day if bad choices are made.
So that's my sobering thought process. I am today ONLY overweight. From class III obese to class II, to spend a while as a class 1 obese lady. Today for the first time in over 28 years I am ONLY overweight.
I am 6 months out now - almost to the day - I've lost over 5 stone. I have saggy skin. I am in a size 16. Most weeks I have a foamie or sickness episode. I still struggle with meat. I can't eat bread, pasta or rice without side effects. I do feel loads better. But a new terror has set in and that is of regain. I hope I manage this challenge and the fear well. I would be livid with myself if this new concern consumes me and I forget to enjoy myself a bit!
Exciting year for us all with our journeys I guess.
I found Christmas super hard. I know often people say - 'nothing tastes as good as being slim' but I wouldn't be able to fully agree!!
Yes, being slimmer than 2014 Christmas is a joy. And I am thankful and grateful to the NHS for that last chance to be healthier. I truly am.
I also had 2 years of monthly psychology appointments in tier 3 to try and help with my compulsive eating and binge eating to prepare me for a better post op journey. I researched and prepared and forced myself to become immersed in the full risks and side effects and consequences for there to be few surprises post op.
I did all I could.
However - the impact of a bleak food Christmas was super hard to realise before the event. I've had food centred Christmases since I was a child - not because I was a overweight child - but I think many many people's Christmas includes indulgence and a little excess.
47 prior Christmases followed that path. This year did not! For Xmas lunch I had a sprout, 3 slices of carrot, a roast parsnip, a slice of turkey and some gravy. I ate it very slowly but was very sick 30 minutes later. I had panecotta once I recovered, knowing I would be sick but with a 'sod it' attitude!!!!
I often wish I had learned to control my eating earlier. That I had realised in my 20s and 30s the debilitating long term effect of being morbidly obese for decades. The knee and hip deterioration. The spinal pain and the self esteem cost - which was huge. But my younger self headed no warnings and I crashed into milestone birthdays bigger than the decade before.
So I guess wls became a life line but at a high cost sometimes. There was no escaping my restriction. I could not have a Buck's Fizz with a bacon bap for breakfast. I could have a drink and then 30 minutes later I had some porridge. I couldn't eat a starter and dessert with my family. My desert was eaten around an hour after I have been sick from my lunch!
I did have a good day - but I was mourning that there was no 'mid way house' place where things could be a little more accommodating. I have read that after a couple of years it may be easier. So who knows? It's not a deal breaker and make no mistake I don't regret my surgery at all. But there are impacts and Christmas Day really made me aware of how severe the surgery was due to my inability to deal with my weight myself. I was super cross that I never managed to get a grip. I am also super scared that perhaps I have not actually got a grip now. My sleeve has. And should that relax or alter - I will go backwards.
The fear of going backwards is a scary demon. Plenty of people enjoy a great first year from losing wls - the surgery more or less ensures some losses. Many people write that they are 'fixed' and their weight has been 'lost forever'. Yet we know regain with wls is very, very common. Perhaps only a stone but for some - its everything they lost. Not because they can suddenly eat huge meals again. But because it's very possible to eat a bad snack every hour and soon be on 3000-4000 calories a day if bad choices are made.
So that's my sobering thought process. I am today ONLY overweight. From class III obese to class II, to spend a while as a class 1 obese lady. Today for the first time in over 28 years I am ONLY overweight.
I am 6 months out now - almost to the day - I've lost over 5 stone. I have saggy skin. I am in a size 16. Most weeks I have a foamie or sickness episode. I still struggle with meat. I can't eat bread, pasta or rice without side effects. I do feel loads better. But a new terror has set in and that is of regain. I hope I manage this challenge and the fear well. I would be livid with myself if this new concern consumes me and I forget to enjoy myself a bit!
Attachments
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Kar8858
Well-Known Member
Morning debs i totally get where you are coming from here as a previous binge eater. Missing that food and the process of a binge is very difficult but my sleeve has been a god send in that respect. It is difficult to switch your behaviour to something else, mine has become cleaning. I dont think that ever goes away.
I can also understand the fear of putting a pound back on daft as it sounds..its almost like losing control again like it was before and worrying that one pound willlead to another and another.
I also agree that you could cheat the tool by getting the sugary sliders down and I think this is the down fall for a lot of folks, whether they admit it or not.
I struggle with meat so tend to avoid it now, not enjoyable, and im not bothered with pasta and bread in any case.
You have done really well, just stick withwhat suits you and good luck for 2016
I can also understand the fear of putting a pound back on daft as it sounds..its almost like losing control again like it was before and worrying that one pound willlead to another and another.
I also agree that you could cheat the tool by getting the sugary sliders down and I think this is the down fall for a lot of folks, whether they admit it or not.
I struggle with meat so tend to avoid it now, not enjoyable, and im not bothered with pasta and bread in any case.
You have done really well, just stick withwhat suits you and good luck for 2016
kurstywursty
Active Member
Debs what an honest heartfelt post. I relate to it so well
I always beat myself up because I could not follow the rules - my food addiction - binge eating disorder got in the way. And I have to ask myself would I ever have Ben able to follow band rules without a band being fitted? No! And essentially that is what I was doing. I never felt my band put the break on my portions or the desire to binge and that was before it was leaking - I was never sick had foamies only twice in the life of my band. And funnily enough I never stretched my pouch!
So I had the constant fear of failure ;-(
But....you have done soooo well and there is no real reason why you can't continue to do so xxxx
I always beat myself up because I could not follow the rules - my food addiction - binge eating disorder got in the way. And I have to ask myself would I ever have Ben able to follow band rules without a band being fitted? No! And essentially that is what I was doing. I never felt my band put the break on my portions or the desire to binge and that was before it was leaking - I was never sick had foamies only twice in the life of my band. And funnily enough I never stretched my pouch!
So I had the constant fear of failure ;-(
But....you have done soooo well and there is no real reason why you can't continue to do so xxxx
