Tashatastics bypass journey

[Tashatastic]

Well here I am starting my own little diary as I know I have quite a few exciting months ahead. These months are probably gonna be filled with every feeling and emotion possible so I'll probably use this as an outlet.

If anyone actually takes the time to read this let me tell you a little about myself. I'm 29 from North East England. I currently weigh 24 stone exactly (weighed myself this morning). I had a little boy 8 months ago and he is one of the main reasons I am doing this. I was always slim till I hit 16 and I slowly started putting on weight. Once I hit 21 I just ballooned and now I'm so huge I'm in a size 28 clothes. I find normal day to day activities a struggle and I feel embarrassed about my weight ALL the time. I hate leaving the house. My husband loves and supports me but at times I bet he wishes I wasn't so big, I can imagine he is embarrassed by me.

I first applied through my gp 5years ago. It was never followed up and I never received an appointment so I just left it, I applied again 3 years ago and had to attend a 10 week course. Half way through my nana died and I used food as my crutch and never went back. Applied again in August 2014 and so far I've been to a seminar and one nurse appointment at the hospital. I'm due to go back for my next appointment on Friday 19th of June.

I hope I've lost enough weight and the nurse puts me though to the consultant. Fingers crossed xxx

 

[Pollyann]

Goodluck with everything

 

[PaulineJones]

Good Luck Tasha xxx

 

[los in it]

Hello and good luck with everything

 

[clairemp]

Good luck Tasha, I'm sure you'll be fine x

 

[Tashatastic]

Thanks everyone. I've has a really hard few weeks and been really depressed about my weight. Tonight I think it's all got on top of me and I burst out crying. Feel a tad better after a good cry but I just wish I had a date for the op xxx

 

[Melons1809]

Thanks everyone. I've has a really hard few weeks and been really depressed about my weight. Tonight I think it's all got on top of me and I burst out crying. Feel a tad better after a good cry but I just wish I had a date for the op xxx

Keep your chin up, you are on the journey to a new chapter.You can do this! We all doubt ourselves at different stages. Good luck

 

[clairemp]

Ah Tash, we all need a good cry. A good dollop of self pity and then onwards and upwards (or downwards!)

I've just started a diary to because I really want to look back at it eventually and see how far I've come.

I feel so down and embarrassed about the size of me. Avoiding things like FB because I don't want people seeing how big I've become.

But we're on a journey to a new life!

Thank God for this forum

 

[Tashatastic]

Thanks girls, again all I've done this morning is cry. I feel so lost and like I'm in limbo waiting to get my life back. My best friend had surgery in December and I'm soooo happy and pleased for her as she's lost 9 stone but sooooo upset I'm not there feeling fabulous with her. I was at the In-laws in London this week getting my baby boy christened and I've never felt so ashamed and embarrassed seeing all his family. I'm dreading the pictures coming back and I can't bare to watch the DVD. I cried in London as I felt so obese and never felt relaxed or confident. Made me realise how bad things have got and how I can't go on. Now I'm worried if I don't get this surgery my life is gonna be over. The problem is I have a real problem and issue with food, it's like a drug. Unlike an alcoholic I can't cut out food from my life it's always going to be there effecting everything I do. Will the chairs have handles if I go out somewhere, Will I have to stand, can their car seatbelt go around me. It's constant worrying. I think I'm at my lowest right now so I'm sorry if I'm. Landing in my diary lol. I lost 3lb in London last week which just ain't enough with a BMI of 55.9. My BMI was in the 60's but I've lost weight since my seminar in dec. ugh another day ahead xxx

 

[Twothirdsamidwife]

Awwwwwww Tasha - hugs flower!!! This is such an emotional rollercoaster and throughout the journey I'm sure we will go through the range of feelings. I go from being super excited, positive and proactive to terrified, tearful and worried that I'll be the failiure rather than one of the success stories.

Take it each day at a time xx

 

[emma-louise]

Thanks girls, again all I've done this morning is cry. I feel so lost and like I'm in limbo waiting to get my life back. My best friend had surgery in December and I'm soooo happy and pleased for her as she's lost 9 stone but sooooo upset I'm not there feeling fabulous with her. I was at the In-laws in London this week getting my baby boy christened and I've never felt so ashamed and embarrassed seeing all his family. I'm dreading the pictures coming back and I can't bare to watch the DVD. I cried in London as I felt so obese and never felt relaxed or confident. Made me realise how bad things have got and how I can't go on. Now I'm worried if I don't get this surgery my life is gonna be over. The problem is I have a real problem and issue with food, it's like a drug. Unlike an alcoholic I can't cut out food from my life it's always going to be there effecting everything I do. Will the chairs have handles if I go out somewhere, Will I have to stand, can their car seatbelt go around me. It's constant worrying. I think I'm at my lowest right now so I'm sorry if I'm. Landing in my diary lol. I lost 3lb in London last week which just ain't enough with a BMI of 55.9. My BMI was in the 60's but I've lost weight since my seminar in dec. ugh another day ahead xxx

Hi tash,

I can totally understand where you are coming from....I had my surgery for the sake of my family,not for vanity and even though I was in sizes 24/26 I didn't really have bad health problems due to being overweight..I was just going to be heading that way if I carried on gaining weight.
I could never join in with my children on holidays or just basically tie my shoes up,just everyday things was becoming more difficult.
I had my bypass almost 5 yrs ago,and now I can be the fun mum I've always wanted to be.
Yes I've not had an easy time with this bypass..I've just had stomach surgery on Monday due to problems.
I think I've just been unlucky and do find it hard at times but everyone is different.
One thing I've noticed you say is about your food obsession,you will have to get this addressed before considering any surgery.
The physiatrists will want to know your able to deal with issues after surgery...even though it's being overweight that's fueling your obsession with food.
Keep your chin up x

 

[BFB]

Thanks girls, again all I've done this morning is cry. I feel so lost and like I'm in limbo waiting to get my life back. My best friend had surgery in December and I'm soooo happy and pleased for her as she's lost 9 stone but sooooo upset I'm not there feeling fabulous with her. I was at the In-laws in London this week getting my baby boy christened and I've never felt so ashamed and embarrassed seeing all his family. I'm dreading the pictures coming back and I can't bare to watch the DVD. I cried in London as I felt so obese and never felt relaxed or confident. Made me realise how bad things have got and how I can't go on. Now I'm worried if I don't get this surgery my life is gonna be over. The problem is I have a real problem and issue with food, it's like a drug. Unlike an alcoholic I can't cut out food from my life it's always going to be there effecting everything I do. Will the chairs have handles if I go out somewhere, Will I have to stand, can their car seatbelt go around me. It's constant worrying. I think I'm at my lowest right now so I'm sorry if I'm. Landing in my diary lol. I lost 3lb in London last week which just ain't enough with a BMI of 55.9. My BMI was in the 60's but I've lost weight since my seminar in dec. ugh another day ahead xxx

Ah it's hard, it really is. But your journey has started, it's not long till your appointment and then things will hopefully get going and the time will fly. Good things are to come. And I can totally identify with all those little worries that thin people don't have to worry about. So many times I've turned down invites cause I've googled the restaurant or theatre and checked the photos and thought, the seats have got arms, I can't go. It's miserable. Hang on in there. And well done on losing weight since your seminar, I'm sure they'll be pleased with you.

 

[Tashatastic]

Thanks girls. Was nice to come on and see a reply. I felt sooooo low yesterday probs the worst I ever felt about my weight. I also have no major health problems but I'm starting to see how much it really impacts my life being so big. I have addressed my issue with food and I'm losing weight, but we all have an issue or we wouldn't need surgery it's just dealing with them demons that make us eat. I jumped on the scales today and lost another 4lb that's 7lb in a week!! I'm feeling really positive and happy today. Hubby is making me feel nice too hugging sand kissing me, sometimes we just need some TLC. I've upped my water and it's really helped with my weight loss thanks for taking the time to reply when I really needed it xxx

 

[florabell]

Hi Tasha, just wanted to say hi and I really sympathise with you. I'm the same weight and counting down the days till my sleeve op in August. You're doing really well on the diet, can I ask what you're doing?

Being so big is just awful and I hear you about the food addiction. I hope you get good news at your next appointment x

 

[Tashatastic]

Hiya florabell, I've just cut out ALL carbs and upped my water intake to 4 litres a day to flush everything through. The first 3 days without carbs was really hard but now I don't even feel hungry. Constantly running the loo for a wee tho lol. Jumped on scales today and another 2lb loss. That's 9lb in 9days! I just eat white meat, fish, veg and salad. I'm glad you relate to my story so much. It's hard being so over weight and struggling in life like I do. I can't wait to get my surgery date I think once I get that I will feel so much better. You must be so excited have you been given weight loss goals? Xxx

 

[florabell]

Hello again I alternate between excitement and fear! You're doing great, I don't start my pre op til 15 July and am dreading it. I've been told to lose a stone but I keep having "last suppers" and it needs to stop! Might have to start it sooner..

 

[violetangel]

All the best Tash. We are all here for you x

 

[violetangel]

Hello again I alternate between excitement and fear! You're doing great, I don't start my pre op til 15 July and am dreading it. I've been told to lose a stone but I keep having "last suppers" and it needs to stop! Might have to start it sooner..

I am he same as you. I keep having funeral dinners!! X

 

[florabell]

Lol VioletAngel, glad I'm not the only one!!

 

[JJJ]

It's difficult to do but the postop eating patterns have to be permanent so I tried not to go bananas.
Maybe 'last suppers' are a bad idea that are promoted by specialist nurses & dietitians as well as our natural instincts